Round 7 - that was no ordinary final and this is no ordinary report!

For the first 79 minutes of the final, the word 'epic' was not in anyone's thoughts or on anyone's lips. Reports spoke of a facile Argentinian victory with a feeble and impotent  performance from a hapless France.

Messi had once more kicked Argentina into a deserved lead from the penalty spot after 23 minutes. When Di Maria made it 2-0, 13 minutes later,  with a beautifully excuted team goal, t looked to be all over bar the presentation of the trophy to and raising to the heavens of Messi.  France were a shambles, a sham, a footballing joke, wandering around aimlessly like lost sheep with neither a sheep dog nor shephard to be seen to exert some semblance of formation and control.  Argentina were having the time of their footballing lives, outshining France in every  aspect of the game and seemingly cruising to World Cup glory. There was no perceptible change even after two early French substitutions (41 mins) and a half-time pause to gather their thoughts. Maybe they all just sat there in the dressing room, dumbfounded and shocked, only mumbling a 'sacré bleu' here or a  'je ne sais pas' there!  By the 79th.  minute, Geoff Hurst had probably already switched off,  knowing his unique hat-trick-in-a-final record was safe and sound for another 4 years!

With 10 minutes to go, France made only their second threatening foray into the Argentinian box.  Muani  was taken out by Otamendi, the ref. instantly pointing to the spot. Mbappé cooly slotted the penalty home. That was bad enough but within a minute, the unthinkable happened as  football god became football devil! Messi was easily dispossessed around the halfway line, his aging legs not even attempting a recovery - he could only look back in horror as the ball came down from Thuram's cross to Mbappé's right boot. Mbappé' didn't even let the ball hit the ground, preferring to connect on the volley and bury it brilliantly in the back of the net. A professional magician couldn't have made a 2-0  lead vanish with such speed, such skill, such sleight of foot!

Eight minutes to go and eight minutes of added time too. France were looking like champions again. Argentina were not down but France were now paying full and undivided attention, blotting out their every move. Messi did have one stunning left foot crack at goal which Lloris pushed over the bar. All too soon, the 98 minutes were up, and we were heading into extra time.

There was no playing-for-penalties nonsense here - both teams pressing for gold. By now, we were in a parallel time continuum -  the first 15 minutes of extra time disappeared in an Einstein-like relative flash!  After 108 minutes, Messi redeemed himself and was re-instated as a football god thanks to scrambling in a cross which a French defender could only clear while virtually wrapped up in the back of the net. 12 mins left....... to Argentinians everywhere, the clock was now crawling towards 120 minutes, down on all fours, barely able to move!  117:35, Mbappé lets one rip - it's blocked by Montiel's elbow inside the box. Mbappé places the ball on the spot. He clearly hasn't been taking  lessons from Harry Kane as he confidently buries the ball where it belongs, out of reach of the goalie and coming to a well-earned rest in the back of the net. 3-3 and a hat-trick for Mbappé.  There's a very brief pause as Geoff Hurst's groans are heard echoing around the stadium!! France keep pressing and have at least 2 more opportunities to become champions with Muani in particular blasting at the keeper instead of calmly chipping him, as I would have done!

And so football's greatest competition is to be decided on penalties, a fair and honest way to conclude  a month-long, hard-fought competition between 32 nations, totally in line with FIFA's fair and honest modus operandi!

Mbappé and Messi immediately make it 1-1. The next 4 penalties are atrocious but Lloris inexplicably lets the 2 Argentinian shots in while France suffer a wide and a save. 3-1. Muani slots his only for Montiel  to earn the ultimate redemption as he sends  a nation into wild ecstasy!  Argentina have done it, Messi has done it. France are now former champions. 

I'll finish with an admission in a long line of admissions, Argentina were worthy winners on the night. How did Argentina do in their opening match against Saudi Arabia? Everybody  has forgotten and nobody cares anyway - that's football! 

What about the competition as a whole? The football was generally excellent. The 3rd. and final round of the group stage had more twists and turns than the  winding 25km road up the Stelvio Pass, as Germany, Belgium and Denmark all headed home. Japan and Morocco were both outstanding,, showing how football is spreading its wings beyond Europe and South America.

What about the hosts?  We should certainly take a leaf out of their weather policy - lush green pitches and  not a single drop of rain throughout the competition. How do they do it! Less impressive was the repulsive Nasser Al Khater, CE of the World Cup - his disdain and indignation as journalists asked him for his thoughts on the death of a migrant worker at the Saudi base in Qatar were vile. To him,  he was running a football competition where death had no place other than being a fact of life. No doubt he will adopt a similar stance when his own over-privileged, pathetic life is drawing to a close.

Here's what I'd love to say to the Qatari powers that be:

وداعًا قطر

لقد انجزتم دوري عالمي ممتاز لكرة القدم!

نتمنى ان تتحسن سياستكم بنفس القدر، لانها حاليا دون اي مستوى.

 نعلم بالخبرة، ان هذا الامر بحاجة للوقت والصبر!

جربها!

Goodbye and farewell,  Qatar, the football was fantastic but your politics stink! We hope you will improve. We know from experience,  it requires commitment, time and patience. Give it a try!

As for FIFA's attitude to politics and football, we looked up in awe and wonder as protest and support for gay and women's rights were forcibly put down while protests for Palestinian rights and freedom were (correctly) welcomed without the slightest reprimand!  This is FIFA's unique interpretation of 'respect for all'. Long may it not live. What will FIFA's stance be in the North American World Cup in the summer of 2026? Expect idiot Infantino to be decked out in a rainbow suit to show that there were no hard feelings in Qatar 2022! Long may the booing of that spineless fool continue wherever he appears!  Qatari loot may help his material life but popularity is earned in more meaningful, human ways, ways totally alien to him and his pathetic, immoral, greedy crew.

Should I even mention Ronaldo - only as a footnote! I'm sure he's back at home,  busy driving pins into effigies of Messi and Mbappé, probably shooting a few wides there too as the tears hamper his vision! 

Round 6 - the 2 semis and the battle for Bronze

So FIFA get what they wanted, a Mbappé v Messi final. And Infantilo told the world in only  his second press conference in Qatar that this was the best World Cup ever, the very words he used when licking Putin's money-laden arse 4 years ago! We can only stand back  and admire  the man's  objectivity  - akin to Apple claiming their phones are the best on the planet.

As for the matches themselves, I  should firstly say that I saw neither of them live - I was in the the air for the first and in a jet-lag induced coma for the second (K.O. 02:00 Thai time - no way I was getting out of bed for that!).  

How many times have I already written that Argentina keep getting better!  And so it was in the semi-final v Croatia too. Of course it is all thanks to Messi, who has me eating ridiculous amounts of humble pie, though he could still fall at the last fence! ! As has become usual, Messi grabbed the opener, a confident left boot smash from the penalty spot.  Minutes later Alvarez made it 2 with a long solo run and a bit of luck with a ball that seemed eager to get away from him  a couple of times but somehow kept within boot reach. That was before half time. Messi polished off Croatia in the second half with the sort of classy football dance that matters (Brazil, take note!) - he waltzed around the brilliant Gvardiol and then  delivered  a lovely ball to Alvarez through Gvadiol's legs  for an easy slot home. Poor old Croatia made no reply and Gvardiol, who has been one of the outstanding players in this World Cup,  is going to hate replaying this goal!

In the second semi, Morocco's squad depth proved to be shallower than a neap tide! They had 3 of their best players as doubtful starters. In the end, all 3 started but none of them finished. It was obvious that none of them were match fit.  France did it with a goal in either half but it's a real shame that Morocco weren't at full strength.  Yet they put up a decent fight, inspired by the player of the match, Amrabat, and  that crucuial 12th. man, their fanatical supporters.  A full strength Morocco would have given France a real run for their money and maybe more....

The playoff for 3rd. and 4th.  is often a carefree encounter as the stakes are low and the pressure is off.  Croatia and Morocco kept that particular tradition fully intact with some great football, especially in the first half. Croatia took the lead after only 7 minutes with a superb headed pass onto Gvardiol's flying head  - Gvardiol's first goal for his country and he's now the youngest Croatian to do so - he's only 20.  I was happy for him, nice compensation for the Messi run-around in the semi. Morocco didn't waste any time equalising with a header of their own only 2 mins  later.  For two teams that had  been through tough matches and penalty shootouts, they were zipping around like carefree youngsters on any given Saturday in any given town! How brilliant football can be when played for fun.  Croatia snatched a second with a lovely lob (or was he going for a cross - that's what I thought watching live!). There was an inevitable slow down in the second half as Morocco used all of their subs and Croatia used 4 of theirs.  Fatigue seemed to finally catch up with the  Moroccans as Croatia looked stronger.  Ultimately, the second half was scoreless and Croatia finished third again, as they did in 1998, their WC debut.  Runners-up and two  3rd place finishes  - not bad for a country with red and white squares decorating their jersies! Morocco have been a revelation too, giving lesser-rated teams hope. Croatia and Morocco played out a fairly boring 0-0 draw in their respective first matches of this World Cup. The match was generally dismissed as a dull encounter of two almost no-hopers.  Croatia were aging and had lost their front men of the previous  World Cup while Morocco were, by name alone, not taken seriously. How wrong we were! Well done to both of them - if only Ireland (my sad, sorry football nation) had half their belief, energy and commitment

Enough about all that has gone before, let the final begin! (And France win!)

Round 5 - The Quarters - in which no quarter was given by either Croatia or Morocco!

We had a mere four matches. Yet they generated enough excitement and surprise to trigger strokes, heart-attacks and tsunami-like waves of national pride as a berth in the semis was fought over.

Those football dancers from Brazil are dancing no more!  Croatia put an end to all that nonsense, maybe not quite matching the incredible German 7-1 slaughter (laughter with an 's'!) in 2014 but the outcome was the same - back to the beaches of Rio to dance to your heart's content, Neymar and co! The first 90 minutes produced no goals but Brazil confidently switched to victory mode when Neymar put them ahead after 105 minutes - they were on their way to the semis. Did Croatian heads drop and their thoughts turn to the airport and home..... let's just  say that this country of less than 4 million continues to defy the football odds. The Brazilians didn't seem to be aware of  Croatia's  football history until they had a rude awakening in the form of a Croatian equaliser in the 117th minute - Hrvatska may be a small country but it has  a colossal football heart. There was no further goal drama, meaning the match would be decided on penalties.  The Croatians wrapped the thing up with confidence and ease, belting in 4 out of 4 while Brazil could only convert 2 of theirs. The wild dogs and cats of Rio freely roamed the city's serene  streets that night!

We moved 500m up the road for the next match! And who should we see only Messi and his boys taking on the Dutch. The Argentinians keep improving because Messi is producing the goods.  I have declared a cease fire in my anti-Messi  stance - whatever about his obnoxious politics, there's no disputing his football talent. They deservedly took the lead after 35 mins with a goal that only Messi saw unfolding - he put through a perfect pass along the turf to Molina, a path that would normally take precision instruments and a team of surveyors to plot out. Messi needed half a second!  Later, he converted a penalty himself to make it 2-0 after 73 mins.  That should have been that.  A certain Weghorst had other ideas, heading one home shortlly after Messi's peno.  This put the Argentinians on edge and with the clock already over the hundred minute mark, Weghorst struck again with a brilliantly worked free kick. The ball was trickled past the bewildered Argentinian wall as it made its way beautifully to Weghorst who blasted it home. The Dutch had Argentina where they wanted them! Or did they? Strangely, in the 30 minutes of extra time,  the Dutch seemed to ease off the gas or lose their nerve. The result? More damn penalties, despain for the Oranje, bliss for the men in blue, 4-3.

The Moroccons were on the pitch to size up their next potential victims, Portugal. With previous lambs to their slaughter, Belgium and Spain, already at home watching on TV  like the rest of us,  the Moroccan juggernaut rolled on as they sent Portugal packing.  Ronaldo reacted by dashing off to the dressing room, alone and in tears - a lovely sight though I'm sure Piers Morgan was in the dressing room to console  poor Cristiano, taking him by both hands and pulling him into his arms for a man hug and a comforting cuddle!  Morocco scored in the first half and yet, even with so much time, Portugal never really looked like taking control. Yes, they hit the bar and forced the non-singing Bono into a few testing saves in the Moroccan goal.  Passes that looked slick and incisive against CH were consistently a fraction off thanks in large part to the  quick and sturdy Moroccan defence.  They're not only formidable defenders but also fast and skillful on the break - they had a couple of chances to make  2-0. In the end, that solitary goal was enough. Another major football scalp for Morocco, while also making them the first Afriican country to reach the World Cup semis - a great outcome for football.

And so to the last quarter, England v France, the next door neighbours who love slagging each other but  deep down respect one another. The majority pre-match opinion was that France were the better team and for the first 15 minutes, it looked that way, especially when out of nowhere France went ahead with a long range belter which hammered the metal stanchion at the back of the goals - we all heard it!  And yet this was just what the doctor ordered for what had been a limp England. They came to life, less caution, more trust, less backpasses, more drives forward.  Although it was still 1-0 at the break, England were ultimately rewarded with a clear penalty which Kane duly buried, his club goalkeeper not having a sniff.  Where had that early French dominance gone? The longer the match went on, the more likely seemed a 3 Lions victory until  France got their wine-soaked noses in front through Giroud and his hard, accurate head. And so to the  defining  moment -  Saka was upended in the box and it was up to Kane to exhibit  his penalty prowess once more. As earlier, he slammed the ball, giving the keeper no chance but this time, he also sent it on a gravity-defying orbit into space!  France held on, just about!  It is only fair to say that the Brazilian ref was bloody awful - he ignored a several incidents which should have gone England's way. It reeks of FIFA demanding a Messi v Mbappé showdown in the final. I wouldn't put it past the bastards -  a trivial matter compared to granting a WC to a tiny country with no tradition or  interest in football. 

Round 4 - We're down to the last 8 teams and the last 8 matches

The most depressed player after the last 16 was actually on a winning team! Yes, that man of endless modesty and decency, that ultimate team player, Ronaldo! To be sitting on the bench and watch in horror as his successor, Goncalo Ramos, grabbed a hat trick and assisted in a fourth must have made him physically sick - I sincerely hope it did! There was also Pepe, who seems to have been around for decades - he'll be 40 in 2 months. It was incredible to see him leap up and smack the ball home with his glistening, bald head. I was expecting Portugal to win but I never imagined that they would fillet and barbecue the poor old Swissies with such style and skill. 

There's no denying that Argentina were good again though Australia were no pushover. The biggest contributor to Argentina's win wasn't even on the pitch! The Argentinian fans were fantastic, filling the stadium with the sound of Buenos Aires, cheering every Messi touch, even applauding him as he stood waiting for the ball like a commuter waiting for a bus. And like a bus, he might not see the ball for 5 to 10 minutes only for two or three balls to come along in quick succession, allowing him to show-off his magic. As against Mexico, Messi got Argentina off the mark with that still-lethal left foot of his. When the second came from Alvarez, it looked as if the Socceroos would quietly fade away until a crazy, deflected own-goal header in the 77th. min. gave Aus a sniff of hope. They sprang into life, the yellow and green attacking the Argentine box with intent. A couple of very real chances came their way.  Imagine the eerie silence that would have descended had Aus equalised with that very last kick of the match - sadly Martinez, in the Argentine goal, just about scrambled to block it. In spite of my best efforts to jinx him and his team, Messi and his boys are in the last eight -maybe lavish praise is the way forward!

The Dutch were being run ragged by the US who should have scored after just 3 minutes only for the Dutch to cruelly take the lead in the 10 minute totally against the run of play. It was a blissfully-created goal, made up of 21 passes and finished in style. That knocked the stuffing out of the US, forcing them to abandon their high-tempo game for the mediocrity of caution and inevitable defeat. Just before half time, the Dutch went 2 up. There was a sliver of hope when the US grabbed a goal but, as befits a country which generally seems cool and composed,  that hope was short-lived as the Dutch added a third a few minutes later. Goodbye USA!

Polska is a country which knows a thing or two about defending, so it was good to see a vastly improved Polska give France a match for the first 45 minutes though they were nabbed on the stroke of half time by Giroud. Let's face it, they were never going to win this and Mbappé saw to that in the second half. His two goals were phenomenal - he seemed to have so much time for both that it looked as if he could afford a little lie-down before burying the ball in the back of the net. The match closed with a Polish penalty which Lewandowski approached with a walk, a stop, a walk and a tap straight at the goalie! Total farce except that it had to be re-taken. Why change a losing formula! Lewandowski repeated his ludicrous antics only this time the ball trickled past the goalie - a nonsensical conclusion.

Senegal had fans to match Argentina's - there was a constant rumbling of drums throughout the match. This is the sound of a World Cup for me. Their drumming was accompanied by beautiful, natural, swaying dance moves which would have looked skillful and elegant with a ball at their feet on the pitch. In the match itself, things were not quite so beautiful for Senegal even though they started well and had the English lads fluffing their lines and looking a touch nervous. They had two great chances to go in front but failed to convert them. Instead England finally got their act together and swept down the pitch to score a lovely goal thanks to Bellingham and Henderson. The goal celebration was straight from a sci-fi film - the rubbing of foreheads, allowing them to swap their deepest football secrets with each other.  A few minutes later, on the stroke of half-time, Kane made it 2 and that was that. England added a third by which time Senegal were dead and buried.

Brazil strolled past Korea - it was all over after 13 minutes, 2 up and 4-0 by half-time. The second half was virtually meaningless, Brazil strolling around with almost no intent and the Koreans trying to salvage a bit of pride, eventually succeeding in pulling one back. The Brazilian dancing goal celebrations were painful to watch, rubbing Korea's battered noses in it. It might have been acceptable for the first goal but to repeat it a further 3 times was a kick in the teeth to the already-downed Koreans. I'd love to see Brazil hammered but sadly, Germany are not around to inflict another 7-1 on them- over to you, Croatia or Netherlands or (oh-oh!) Argentina.

Japan fell on their Samurai swords, painfully and fatally, by taking some of the worst penalties ever seen at a World Cup  (until Spain followed their example a mere 24 hours later). Japan led Croatia only for Croatia to equalise and then 30 minutes of extra-time  where Japan were the livelier. Liveliness without goals is useless though and so it went down to stinking, stupid, ridiculous penalties.  Japan converted a miserly 1 penalty while Croatia hit 3 out of 4 with real confidence.

And then there was Morocco! They've been brilliant throughout the tournament, the darkest of dark horses. They topped their group, sent the Belgians packing convincingly and now the Spanish were about to fall under their Arabic spell. Spain may have had nearly all of the possession but they didn't know what to do with it - like that maniac Musk and his billions! Morocco defended with their bodies and their minds and yet often looked the more likely to score. After 120 minutes of goallessness, we were back at the penalty spot and more football atrocities. The Spanish failed with all 3 of theirs while Morocco were able to wrap it up with their 4th. penalty which Hakimi coolly trickled into the middle of the goal as the goalkeeper leapt into the freshest of Qatari air on his right! A nice little twist is that Hakimi is Spanish born and bred of Moroccan parents!

There are only 8 teams left which means one of them is just three wins away from  lifting the ultimate football trophy. As long as it's not Messi or, even worse, Neymar.....

Round 3 - the beautiful craziness of football

The third and final round of the group stages is really the first knockout stage where tensions are high, fates are decided and unexpected plane tickets are distributed. There’s more to it than that though with some teams already qualified which leads to them fielding a weaker team and an almost indifference to defeat. And then we have that three-lettered invisible entity called VAR who treated us to a few seemingly crackpot decisions, the very thing VAR was supposed to eliminate. It's a bit like the invention of the microscope - before it, we made decisions based on what the naked eye could see but once that microscopic world was revealed, we saw things we'd never even dreamt of. It's the same on the football field - the technology at VAR's disposal means that the nail of a middle finger can deem a player offside, brushing the ball with the hairs of your arm can reward the opposition with a penalty and a micron of the ball still being in play can lead to formerly disallowed goals being given.



Let's brush over the games which never matched up to the hype. Wales continued on their woeful way to a WC exit at the feet of England – let’s hope they do a little better next time, in 2086! Iran were disappointingly meek against a US team who continue to impress. It's all over for the world no. 2, Belgium, gracefully shown the way out by a determined Croatia though Lukaku may have been traumatised for life as a goalscorer, missing five clear chances he’d normally bury. Not surprisingly, Morocco beat Canada to top the group - a great outcome for football, for Arabic Africa and, of course, for the bookies.



We can now move on to the meatier cuts of round 3. So much for my early Messi exit! It wasn’t just that Argentina were excellent, that Messi got the crucial first goal but that Poland were bloody dire – no spirit, no energy and no clue. And all this despite the fact that at 0-0, Messi was awarded an extremely dubious penalty which was brilliantly saved by Szczęsny, the only Pole to stand up and perform. Unfairly, Poland made it to the last 16 because poor old Mexico just couldn’t get a third against Saudi.



France, with their big boys resting on the bench, fell to Tunisia but it wasn't enough for Tunisia thanks to the Socceroos doing the unexpected and beating Denmark. By all accounts, Denmark were a bit like Poland, lacking drive and energy which was a huge flop considering that they beat France twice in the qualifications.



The pinnacle of round 3 was the concluding games of Group E, where Spain, Japan, Costa Rica and Germany could all be in or out. With 20 minutes to go, Costa Rica took the lead against Germany and Japan were leading Spain which meant both Germany and Spain would be bidding Auf Wiedersehen/Adios to Qatar! Germany did all they could do to survive by grabbing 3 goals back and could even have had a few more. Meanwhile, Spain were prancing around indifferent to defeat because (the conspiracy theory has it) Spain wanted to avoid Brazil until the final so they were happy to let Japan top the group. If they’d bothered to equalise, they’d have won the group and carried Germany through on their backs. Japan’s second goal would have been disallowed in pre-VAR days as the cross to make the goal was made outside the field of play. Or was it! Apparently only 99.999999999% of the ball was out of play!



It was great to see Korea go through when they beat Portugal and at the expense of an ugly Uruguay. Portugal, like France, Spain and Brazil didn’t seem to mind too much taking a loss. As for CH, our adopted homeland played as well as I’ve ever seen them play when beating Serbia 3-2 with good goals (both sides) and really good defending too. Serbia were also doing their bit until they were correctly not awarded a clear non-penalty. This was the trigger to feel hard-done-by and victimised which was a huge mistake, evaporating any hope they had of an equaliser, never mind a win. In parallel, Brazil lost to a 93rd. minute Cameroon goal but it didn't matter to anyone except Cameroon.

And so endeth the group stages!

There are still 5 unbeaten teams which is a lot but more interestingly, it’s a list not made up of the pre-tournament favourites:

USA, Morocco, England, Croatia and Netherlands.

Of the last 16, only 8 of them are European which is good for football!



Now let's get down to the serious stuff.

Round 2 is over - let the real football begin

In round 2, normal World Cup service was resumed. The politics were relegated to the background as football came to the fore, best exemplified, not by the football powerhouses but by the lesser nations who were willing to give it a go! The two matches between South Korea and Ghana (2-3) and Serbia and Cameroon (3-3), produced goals galore, edge-of-the seat excitement as the lead changed hands and shredded nerves for the committed spectators who were as exhausted as the players when the final whistles sounded! This is the epitome of the beautiful game!

 

Sadly, the two shocks of round 1 were not compounded which has given both Argentina and Germany a very decent chance of making the last 16. Japan started the rot by dominating their match only to be caught out by Costa Rica's single but successful shot at goal in the 81^st. minute. Any team with a 100% conversion rate for shots at goal deserve the 3 points! And then later the same day, Spain took it easy against Germany - clearly the better team throughout but when they took the lead, they strolled around like models at a fashion show, with no apparent interest in increasing their lead. German duly punished them with a net-ripping equalizer which they fully deserved.

 

Argentina played Mexico in a pitiful game of football. Commentators put it down to nerves - these teams know each other very well and both were playing for WC survival, especially Argentina. I was hoping to see Messi whimper out of the WC in tears but Mexico just weren't up to the task. It took Messi's left boot to separate the sides in the 64th. minute. That seemed to drive Mexico deeper into their fragile shell before Argentina wrapped things up with a second goal just short of the 90th. min. Both Argentina and their fans celebrated as if they’d won the World Cup. Let's hope Polska can get the early Messi-exit back on track!

 

France v Denmark was the best match so far in terms of football quality. France were beautiful and brilliant whenever they changed gear and glided up the pitch. We all know Mbappé would leave a cheetah for dead once he has a ball at his feet but Dembélé was as fast and graceful. Denmark had their own moments of class and deserved their equaliser when it came. It was never going to last and even though it was just 2-1, a French victory was never in doubt. They look like winners.

 

What about England? After their 6-2 v Iran, their scrupulously objective press and pundits had them firmly in the semis at least. And of course, that old motivator of the opposition was doing the rounds again too - it was indeed coming home! There was just one little problem, England were outrun and outplayed by a fitter, more passionate and more determined US and were lucky to secure a vital point. Why did they lack the confidence to attack? My guess is that they needed a strong leader out there on the pitch screaming at them.

 

Wales were totally outplayed by Iran even though the hammer-blow 2 goals did not hit them until very late on. Bale is past it now - too slow, no longer playing top-level football, preferring to swim in pools of dollars in the US instead! Iran were excellent, nothing like the tense, nervous players who faced England. The burden of the anthem was off their shoulders (they sang it this time), allowing them to concentrate on the football.

 

Croatia needed a Canadian kick up the arse to finally start playing like the Croatia of previous World Cups. Canada deserved to take the lead but Croatia were having none of it once that happened, firstly grabbing two quick goals to take the lead for themselves and then running Canada off the sand in the second half, eventually very comfortable 4-1 winners.

 

Where does all this leave Belgium? Maybe on the plane home to watch the last 16 from the comfort of their own modest mansions. Morocco beat them and beat them well – they were faster, fitter and younger. That oft-talked-about Belgian golden generation has turned flaky and rusty and Croatia should finally consign them to the scrap heap! Morocco will march on when they meet the already-eliminated Canada who will probably turn up at the stadium with their suitcases, heading off to the airport straight after the final whistle!

 

Brazil ultimately overcame Switzerland – the Swiss lads resolutely defended their goal the way the Alps defend their borders for over 80 minutes. The truth is though, if the game had gone on for another 5 hours, Switzerland would never have scored! Portugal made it to the last 16 by beating Uruguay, Lewandowski helped himself to his first WC goal while finally putting Saudi to the sword but it was hard bloody work – Argentina will be easy in comparison!

 

Roll on round 3 – parallel matches as 32 become 16.

Round 1 - We're off!

 

A short political preamble

12 years after the gasps of disbelief and fists of anger as Blatter announced the venue for World Cup 2022, the Qatar World Cup is upon us. We can only stand back and admire the transparency and openness of FIFA in bringing a stinking-rich, tiny desert country into the global football family. All World Cups have elements of the good, the bad and the ugly and Qatar seems to have taken the ugly to heart - labour camps for their migrant workers, their stance on sexuality, women and human rights,their bribing of fans to give the right impression, building 7 new stadiums within a 30 km radius of Doha, taking/making of photos/videos prohibited all over the country, banning alcohol in stadiums at the last minute.....oh how I wish I was there!

Let's talk football....

 

Round 1 - the really interesting bits

Who doesn't love a football shock and, happily, there were 2 shocks of the seismic variety in round 1! So many fans want to see Messi lift the World Cup – please do not include me in that sad, deluded group! A great footballer, yes, but also a greedy, insatiable money-grabbing scumbag who recently signed up to be a Saudi tourist ambassador for $25m a year. He already earns an estimated $140m/year – how much more does he need! How does he feel about the regular executions in Saudi?. For me, it was a delight to see Argentina’s 36-match unbeaten run crash at the feet of Messi's latest paymasters, Saudi Arabia. Anything suspicious there? Certainly not!

The second shock was a straightforward minor football miracle – Germany taking the lead against Japan and looking good too. Yet they were overhauled in the last 15 minutes by 2 quick Japanese goals. These are the kinds of upsets that make World Cups and let’s hope this is just the beginning.

In the opening match, Qatar fully lived up to their reputation as a proud footballing nation hosting a World Cup by being utter rubbish, making the match a pleasant 2-0 canter for Ecuador. Even at half time people were leaving the stadium in droves and by the full-time whistle, the stadium was almost empty - all the fans who stayed on afterwards were apparently paid to do so.

England impressed against Iran, 6-2 – the proverbial walk in the parched desert! It was nice to see each of the 3 youngsters who took part in the Euro-final penalty trauma get on the score sheet (Bellingham, Saka and Rashford). Good and all as England were, the bravery award has to go to Iran. By deciding not to sing their anthem and with the Iranian fans booing in agreement, this made for a strange but powerful atmosphere. There will be consequences when/if they return home and I can't help feeling that this act of defiance might have upset their concentration. While Iran were making their brave stand, the European countries who had pledged to wear the One Love armband caved in when FIFA threatened them with that frightening weapon of sheer terror, the yellow card. So much for the courage of their convictions.

The defending champions, France, were in big trouble if all the pre-tournament talk had any truth – missing some of their best players, including the European Footballer of the Year, Benzema, tension in the camp and, maybe most damaging of all, the wrong-year Beaujolais smuggled into the country. What could possibly go right! Almost everything as it happens. Yes, Australia stole the lead but once Les Bleus got going, they cruised home, 4-1. France could well be both football and rugby world champions in the next 12 months – a unique double and I love the idea of it. England could do it too but are a longer shot in both competitions. Apologies for the brief oval-ball interlude, back to the round ball.

Spain laid poor old Costa Rica waste with a 7-0 thrashing – a curse or the shape of things to come? A valid question - when Spain won it in 2010, they lost their opening match to Switzerland. However, if Spain are the victorious matador and Germany the fatally wounded bull in their next match, then who knows how far they'll go! As for Belgium, as one of the favourites to win the competition, they were bloody awful against Canada, scraping to a 1-0 win, a match they could and should have lost. How can a team with so many great players be so inept. Maybe they’re on a diet of beer, waffles and chips with mayonnaise – they can only get better or can they!

The last match of the round saw Brazil dazzle by comfortably beating Serbia 2-0. Always the better team, they really shone in the second half, particularly after the departure of everyone’s favourite obnoxious git, Neymar – not a coincidence! Their second goal was the best of the tournament so far, a fantastic, unstoppable scissors kick. Even more pleasing, they continued to press for more goals, none of this European “parking the bus” nonsense. Hmm, this is worrying – I might actually get to really like this Brazilian team if their form and attitude continue in this vein!

The end of round 1 means that 25% of the World Cup matches have already taken place (16 out of 64). By the end of round 2, we’ll be half-way there.